Help & Advice For Family and Friends

One of the difficult things when someone loses a baby at any gestation, is how to respond and help. When a relative passes away, we tend to send messages, cards, flowers to show our support. Unfortunately, as the loss of a baby is still such a ‘taboo’ subject we don’t tend to react in the same way. When in fact we should. This is exactly what parents need. They may not wish to talk about it, especially early on but a message or card is the perfect way to silently offer your support. Just by letting them know that you are there, even if you don’t get a response is hugely helpful and very much appreciated by parents.

Always remember that the parents and siblings have already bonded with their baby from the second they found out they were pregnant . They have probably discussed at length their thoughts and their dreams for their baby, possibly named them and imagined what they will look like. They will have already become excited at the thought of meeting their baby. Even if the miscarriage is early on, that very strong bond is already established.

To get an idea of what the parents and their family are going through, visit this web link.

Try not to get frustrated if you arrange to see the family and they cancel last minute. It is very difficult to see people for the first time after a loss and sometimes some days, even if it is months after, are still very difficult to cope with. Yes, call to see how they are doing. Yes try and organise an easy meet up and yes offer help to allow the Mums and Dads to get couple time away. But always remember how painfully raw it all is and can be for up to a year and beyond. They will forever have dates in their minds, the day they found out they were pregnant, the due date, the first Christmas, their first birthday. It is not for you to bring up and remember. If they bring it up then yes give support but sometimes, just being aware is enough.